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Doubt
 Americans
will drive far out of their way to save
a nickel on gas but they'll happily pay
$1 for one penny's worth of water.
STOP DOING THAT!
The only scam worse than bottled water
is homeopathy. And that's water with the
secret ingredient of nothing, which costs
a zillion bucks, or thereabouts, per dose.
STOP DOING THAT, TOO!
The only reason people should be using
bottled water is immediately following
a natural disaster devastating enough for
people to begin considering cannibalism.
We trash fully 80% of plastic
water bottles and that shit's got to stop,
so quit putting your legs in the air every
time
an Evian commercial
comes on and use the water fountain, buy
a reusable
water bottle, or just drink
your own urine
until
you get home. Remember, I am watching
you and I will judge you!
Booga-Booga!
=Lefty=
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Patreon.
Almost as effective as begging on a streetcorner.
(All comments are moderated. Believe
me, it's necessary.)
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If you enjoy Raging Pencils, might I also recommend:
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
Can't make sense of the news? Try our selection
of progressive nosh:
Dailykos • Crooks
and Liars • Think
Progress • Talking
Points Memo
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
Google
Chow (Eat hearty, little Google-bots!)
And that's why bottled water is the perfect way to impress women.
Rebelliousness: Recycling? Hah! Recycling is for sissies!
Sophistication: Hmmm... note of pine, leather, smoke, and a tart finish.
This is definitely a '68 Fiji mountain stream.
Fearlessness: Aw! Who's afraid of a few cancerous chemicals?
Generosity: It's like a diamond, babe. They charge 1000 times more
than it actually costs, but you're worth every penny.
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