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What TV programs replaced Glenn Beck.

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Meet Your Congressman

robert mecklenborgThis handsome chap is Congressman Robert Mecklenborg (R-OH), a married man and a staunch defender of Republican-style family values.

Which means it'll come as no surprise for you to learn that he was recently pulled over in the middle of the night by a state trooper, drunk as a skunk, veins full of Viagra and with a stripper half his age in the passenger seat. (Video here.)

Robert Mecklenborg, everybody!Give him a hand!

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I don't know about you, but I'm sick to death of those "Sheen Lantern" Goggle ads. What the heck happened to their vaunted relevant advertising?

Sigh.

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Remember the four kittens birthed in the back seat of my car back in late April? Well, here are the three that survived (The runt didn't make it.)

kittens Neptune, SAturn and Mercury

I'm happy to report that all three have found wonderful new homes. The last one, the cute guy in the middle, was handed off earlier this afternoon, bound for the bright and shiny suburbs of McKinney, Texas.

I've also had the mother cat neutered so balance to  neighborhood karma has been restored.

I considered keeping one of the kittens but my other four cats made it very clear to me that I was tempting the nuclear option. It was either the kittens or the first six layers of my epidermis. I had to admit, they had a point.

=Lefty=

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john boehner"We're going to have a relentless focus on creating jobs." - John Boehner, February 10, 2011.

The following is #49 in a list of accomplishments by the GOP since they gained control of the House in 2011. None have yet to result in one, single new job.

(49) 7-6-2011: No new jobs to speak of but the GOP is working diligently to keep their true constituency, Wall Street fat cats, employed by attempting to roll back the financial reforms passed last year. Twerps.

For the entire list of GOP futility, click here.

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Fox News Lies!And what manner of lie is Fox News spewing today? Their foisting the old "Obama and unions sitting in a tree. S-o-c-i-a-l-i-s-t" crappola.

Click here to help Drop Fox from your cable system.


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What's in Mike's iPod?
"I'm the Slime (on the video)" by "Frank Zappa"


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TOONHOLE

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Raging Pencils is a televised conceit of:

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Mike Stanfill, Private Hand
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Today's Google Chow.

In keeping with their usual high level of standards Fox News announces the following five replacement programs for the Glenn Beck show.

Monday: The Cat Conspiracy Hour:
Cat: "Have you read the label? There's corn in your Little Friskies, people!"

Tuesday: The Joy of Painting with Badolf Bitler:
Ritler: "Now load up your brush with Payne's Grey and we'll make a few happy little clouds jusst coming up out of the chimney."

Wednesday: Roger Ailes Echo Chamber:
Talking heads: "Is Obama a marxist?"
"Obama a marxist?"
"A marxist?"
"Marxist!"

Thursday: The Vaguely Porn-Quality Bimbo Who'll Say Anything For A Fat Paycheck Show:
Whore: "What kind of filthy whore would get an abortion anyway?"

Friday: The Oddly Commercial-Free News Hour:
Man: "We'll be right back after another public service announcement from Boeing."