The
Shock Doctrine Party
 "Get
the whole set!"
These four words describe what's instrinsically wrong with the human race, this
insatiable need to acquire. How many houses does Rupert Murdoch own? How many
cars are parked in Jay Leno's garage? How many wives would a man accumulate if
there weren't rules against harems? What makes David Koch's stockpiling of congressmen
any different from the crazy lady who hoards cats?
Currently 1% of Americans own 90% of the wealth. Is there really any need for
that? Are we not going to wake up and notice how burdensome this is to our economy
until one man owns everything?
We undoubtedly turn a blind eye to such naked avarice because we all secretly
imagine ourselves in that position someday. I'd say "Do the math" but
we live in a country where nobody loses when they go to Vegas.
Riiiiight.
------------
 Whenever
I find myself trapped by a lousy
movie, something which happens wayyy
too often these days, I
will
inevitably
drift off to sleep. This is not
a problem when I'm at home but
a nuisance in public as I make noise
as
I snooze.
Trouble is, I don't snore.... I talk,
a phenomenon language
wonks refer to as "somniloquy".
Yes, I can't shut up even when I'm
asleep.
Since I'm usually unconscious
I have no idea
what the drivel which tumbles from
'twixt my lips sound like (I'm
not alone in this, evidently)
but I'm told it's pure, vowel-powered
gibberish.
However,
I remember
my mother used
to make these same noises when she
napped. I found them... disturbing.
Luckily for me Beloved Girlfriend
finds my Slumberland Serenades perversely
endearing. In fact, years ago we
found ourselves
in a packed theatre for a showing
of "Sleepy
Hollow". The room was warm,
the plot was moronic, and about
halfway
through the film my brain threw
in the towel and I drifted off into
Mikey's Magic Fairyland.
I dont know
how long I was out but I was startled
awake to find the entire audience
looking back at me. None too happily,
either. I glanced to my left to find Beloved
Girlfriend staring lovingly at me,
wide-eyed, grinning like a loon, savoring the whole
weird spectacle.
The audience be damned, she admitted
later. She was having a great time watching me make
a stupefied fool of myself in public.
I have since discovered a remedy
for this condition. It's called
the
Tootsie
Pop. No matter how lunk-headed
the production I can always stay
conscious
as long as I have a Tootsie Pop
or two to gnaw on. It's the miracle
food.
I bring this whole silly story up
as BG is currently on a three-times-a-day
antibiotic regimen that
has the unfortunate side-effect
of putting her almost immediately
to sleep. That means now is the
perfect time to take her see the
long-awaited, and final, Harry
Potter movie .
Heh-heh-heh.
Tootsie Pop, my dear?
=Lefty=
------------
 "We're
going to have a relentless focus on creating jobs." -
John Boehner, February 10, 2011.
The following is #56 in a list of Republican
job creation activities
since they gained control of the House in 2011. None,
sad to
say,
have
yet to result in one, single new job.
(56) 7-22-2011: While unemployment
claims are rising again the GOP is putting the screws to small
airports in order to kill union labor.
------------
 And
what manner of lie is Fox News spewing today? Well, Bill
O'Reilly thinks
all you mothers out there are a bunch
of drunken
sluts.
Click here to help Drop
Fox from your cable system.
|
