Duck
This!
 A couple
days ago I created a parody of Bruce Tinsley's
crappy conservative comic strip, Mallard Fillmore.
Judging by the logs that day few people seemed
to care,
mostly, I think, because MF is about as well-known
to the internet generation as pet rocks and three-bean
salad recipes.
Next time I parody Dilbert. Definitely Dilbert.
His lawyers are a push-over, I hear.
Anyhoo, I got to thinking about old Brucie-pants
so I visited his web site today just to see what
the modern right-winger is offering his fevered
public.
It
was sad.
First, there is no contact information anywhere
on his web site. What a fucking pussy. C'mon,
Tinsley, take your hate mail like a woman. I
may delete the most cretinous of comments on
this site but, hey, at least I read 'em first.
Secondly, there were eight navigation links at
the top of the home page and five of them were
devoted to commerce. Well, if you call a cafepress
store 'commerce' then yes, he was in the tschotchke
business.
Yes,
half of his internal links were aimed at crap
no one
would ever buy on a site no one except
Google bots ever bothers to visit.
Seriously, Raging Pencils is a little podunk
guerilla editorial operation and Tinsley has
the thunderous might of King Features on his
side, and yet my web site fucking trounces his
in pageviews. I don't mind getting my ass
handed to me daily by XKCD, SMBC and the like
but this news really made me most celebratory.
To add insult to
injury he's got a huge banner ad at the top
of the home page and the ad it was displaying the
day I visited was, like so many serpent's teeth, for Google
Adwords.
But the most rewarding sight, the one that sent
my Schadenfreude Sense tingling, were the fifteen
thumbnails of his comics on the home page which,
if clicked, would open the comic in a larger
window for one's 'enjoyment'. The choices go
back to 1994 but he evidently quit updating them,
and this is the good part, in April of 2007,
right
when
the
economy began tanking.
Yes, you could almost feel Brucie's little neocon
heart breaking through the sheer curtains of
HTML as he realized it was all over for his team.
The
lights were turned out, the party was over and
all the cheerleaders were home consoling themselves
with chocolate and season three of Sex in the
City.
The newspaper comics business may be a dying
art but, in my opinion, hacks like Tinsley helped
kill it.
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Regarding today's cartoon...
it seems odd to me that we have peope
die on the operating table with great
regularity and yet not a single individual
that has been revived, though the wonders
of modern
medical science I might add, has regaled
us with stories of brief stints in Paradise.
So I guess my interpretation is as good
as any.
=Lefty=
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