If...

If you personally know British Petroleum CEO Tony Hayward and you read this comic then do me a favor and give him a sharp slap across the ears at your first opportunity.

If you're from Kansas and your home gets swept up by a twister and is subsequently carried aloft along the jet stream to England please forget about any witches and try as hard as you can to land on Mr. Hayward's head. If possible, clip the bridge of his nose with the mail box.

If you're in London and you happen to get zombified in the midst of the zombie apocalypse and you later manage to trap Tony Hayward in the back of his burning limo, please don't eat his brain.

Trust me. Just... don't.

Instead, try plucking out his eyeballs with any old caviar tins you might find cluttering up the floorboards next  to half-empty jars of rancid anal lube and partially-chewed 1986 editions of Hustler Magazine.

If your wolverine unexpectedly contracts rabies and a case of explosive diarrhea simply drop it off at the Hayward household. He loves to solve problems.

Thank you.

=Lefty=