New
Toy!
I found
a new web site that offers
yours truly the same sort
of vicarious thrill that
fmylife.com once did. This
new one's called "ifmurdered.com" and,
as you might guess, it offers
the opportunity to set in
print what actions should
be taken should you ever
be murdered... tongue in
cheek of course. Some of
the good comments include:
"If murdered, I want a closed-casket funeral. However, towards the end of
the service, please have the organist play "Pop Goes The Weasel" over
and over, until everyone in attendance is staring at my coffin with mute, horrified
anticipation. "
"If murdered, please fill me with popcorn kernels, cremate."
"If murdered, float my body out to sea on a raft with everyone I know on
shore with flaming arrows. Whoever hits the raft gets all my stuff. That way,
when someone hits me they'll be like "Woo-Hoo!" and then when they
see me burn they'll be like, "Aw", but then when they get my stuff, "Woo-Hoo!""
"If murdered, have my body, poorly embalmed and packed with jellyfish, shipped
to one of the sub-tropical regions. No reason, I just want to create an intercontinental,
bureaucratic clusterfuck."
And...
"If murdered, please lay me on my side in my casket. I was never comfortable
falling asleep on my back, and lying like that forever scares me."
=Lefty=
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