now, appropos of nothing, it's time for wonky Peak
Oil jokes. (By Zeus's knickerbockers, I LOVE these
the mouse ran up the clock,
the clock struck one,
but the rest multiplied and prospered in a post-industrial
world caused by an over-reliance on oil supplies"
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because there were no more cars.
Yesterday... all my troubles seemed so far
but little did I know that the Ghawar oil field had
passed its peak
Oh how I long, for yesterday...
Jim Kunstler. A leading advocate of the peak oil
(That one really cracks me up... imagining poor Jim
going door to door like a Mormon.)
Book 10 of the Harry Potter series: "Harry Potter
and the coming global crisis caused by the Muggle's
overdependence on crude oil"
A horse walks into a bar. No one notices because
everyone rides horses now because oil supplies have
You have two cows. You are killed by a starving
mob and your cows are eaten because civilization
due to a massive shortage in oil supplies.
What is the answer to 1 + 1?
An answer of two would depend upon the assumption
that there are no hidden equations which, in the
long term, reduce the ability for the answer to be
a constant. All the issues need to be looked at and
all equations considered before anyone can give an
answer that can be trusted!
How many Peak Oilers does it take to change
a light bulb?
None. Traditional filament lightbulbs will
be replaced either by low-power high-lumen LEDs,
or else people
will be using candles
Peak Oil version of "Shit Happens":
Shit will still happen... but at a reduced rate that
will cause widespread economic chaos over the longer
Question: "Is the glass half-empty or half-full?"
Peak Oiler: "How you see it is of no concern.
What is important is that there is less than before,
and our society can't continue functioning without
In Soviet Russia, the problem of Peak Oil would still
Patient: Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains
"Doctor: I no longer practice medicine now because
I have saved enough money to work full-time on raising
awareness of the Peak Oil problem"
Why did the Rooster cross the road?
Because there were still no more cars.
Q: How do you get 4 elephants into a Mini?
A: By having a world where all animal growth is stilted
due to high Co2 levels in the atomsphere because
of our overeliance upon fossil fuels that will eventually
lead to a malthusian catastrophe and allow herd animals
from Africa to roam into areas formerly urbanised
by the almost-extinct human race.
In the 3-10-2010 Rant I described Rush Limbaugh as
a "cock-gobbler". A few of the more sensitive
readers out there took offense at that appellation
thinking I was resorting to shaming Mr. Limbaugh
by tarring him with a cheap, homosexual brush. In
truth, I was merely pointing out that he is a surreptitious
cock-gobbler hiding behind a facade of blustery heterosexuality.
I hope that satisfies all you wonderful
cock-gobblers, rug-munchers and peeny-deedlers out