To Get Serious
Fixing the electoral process, Part One:
me while I lapse momentarily into the colloquial because
I think what I'm about to say is slightly important...
The election process in America is FUCKED
UP BEYOND ALL NORMAL COMPREHENSION but we accept it because
"that's the way it's always been".
yourself, how much useful political information do you generally
get from a yard sign, a newspaper ad, a robo-call or a 30-second televised
If you're like me, damned little.
That's because we all inherently know, from years of experience
and exposure, that it's all complete and utter bullshit.
Unfortunately, it's where too many of our fair citizens get
about which candidate
need to come to grips with the discouraging realization that
modern advertising techniques currently far outstrip the
to separate signal from noise.
So the first step to better government is to eliminate political
Seriously. All of it. We got rid of cigarette commercials
for the same reasons so we can get rid of this mind-poison,
The best way to get to know our candidates is through live,
public appearances but the most cost-effective way will
be by holding televised roundtable discussions with the candidates
and their opponents. The length and
on the number
voters. Local races will logically get fewer hours than state
or national debates. Do this for up to a solid week during
prime-time and allow no other programming. The events can
and rebroadcast on Youtube or Hulu.
After the debates you must take a test about what
was discussed and on the particulars of each candidate. You
to vote unless you pass. The vote can be electronic or paper.
We have the technology.
This test does not have to be intricate. It only needs to
indicate that the voter is paying attention.
You may think this is a big fat pain in the ass but I think
we have to stop allowing the pig-ignorant to continue to
fools and charlatans in charge of our government. The stakes
to tea-baggers, swift-boaters and Fox fucking News.
Note: The original version of this gag got my Virginia governors
mixed up. Sorry about that.