Very Monty Christmas!
of years ago, just to break the monotony, I turned Xmas
morning into an episode of "Let's Make a Deal".
I forced Beloved Girlfriend to don a pirate costume and
her choose from what was behind the curtain or what was
under various boxes, etc., accompanied by MP3's of
the show's theme song and appropriate audience response.
It was all a farce, of course, as she won
everything that was under the box or behind the curtain.
I had a
raging case of laryngitis and could barely croak out
the advertising shpiel.
This year I secretly hid her gifts all around the house
and forced her to decipher clues,
in poem form, in order to determine the whereabouts
of each gift. Lots of ascending and descending of stairs
had, much to my demented delight.
poetic clues but I don't she'll ever forgive me for
having to convert them from binary.
This cartoon stems, as most of you have
guessed, from the bizarre "misfit toys" segment
in the beloved animated Xmas special, "Rudolph the
Red-Nosed Reindeer". Every time I watch it I wonder
to myself exactly what were the writers smoking when
they contemplated a toy cowboy riding an ostrich? That's
not a toy in any sense of the word, not even a misfit
one. That's the sort of thing Jack Skellington would
drop down your chimney.
A real misfit toy might be a Barbie with inverted nipples, a '73 Buick LeSabre
Hot Wheels car, a Care Bear stuffed with asbestos or a Star Wars Jawa character
with a vinyl cape instead of a cloth one.
(What? They did? Really?
In fact, if you think about it, there's hardly a single toy in the entire production.
When you look closely at the elves making toys you see a cart and a wagon and
a ... oh my GOD! What the hell is THAT?
Yes, there was a doll on Misfit Island but unless she was possessed by Satan,
and who's to say she wasn't,
she seemed pretty normal to me.
Overall, I'm just glad Rankin-Bass got into the animation
industry rather than trying to put Mattel out of business.