the i's and Crossing the Rubicon
"Never explain, your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe
you anyway." - Elbert Hubbard
Story Short: A letter to a friend leaning
to the dark side.
A little birdie tells me that you're planning on voting for John McCain
for president this year.
First off, what was Obama thinking? I mean, how dumb can a person be
to be born with dark skin in America?
Everyone knows that an overabundance
of melanin is not the same thing as a tan. Besides, all that
brown clashes with red, white AND blue, anyway.
Small wonder he doesn't wear his flag pin, the traitor.
Secondly, who needs someone in the White House with a degree in Constitutional
Law? As Richard Nixon says "When the president does it, that means
it is not illegal." You can't rule the world with a worthless piece
of Constitutional paper in your way, at least that's what George Bush
Thirdly, how foolish can a presidential candidate be to not populate
his campaign with lobbyists? Those guys really know how to work the system,
especially a thoroughbred like Phil Gram, who is almost singlehandedly
responsible for the current economic miracle on Wall Street and in the
these days. Think how well off we'll be once he's installed as head of
the Department of Finance. Wow! If anyone can tie Social Security to
the burgeoning Stock Market, Phil can.
In addition, all of Obama's talk about energy independence is laughable.
Unlike all those European countries currently generating record amounts
of power from passive solar America just doesn't have enough sun or wind
to satisfy all its hungry appliances. It's better we fight endless, and
quite profitable, wars over oil. That's what our army is for, right?
There's too many of them little brown people in this world, anyway. Plus,
we have plenty of unemployed young men just begging to fight for $4 gas
in an overseas desert paradise. So what if most of them don't speak English.
They don't speak it in Baghdad, either. Besides, McCain wants to invest
$350 billion in nuclear power, a boon for the
and we all know how safe, efficient and environmentally friendly nuclear
As for Joe Biden, what a joke. Are we supposed to believe that he has
spent 35 years as a Senator and hasn't once been arrested for bribes,
sex in bathrooms or hanging out with hookers? What a dweeb. And not one
of his daughters got knocked-up as a teen, the clearest indication of
small town family values there is. So what if he's got a son fighting
in Iraq. That was obviously just a political ploy. Unlike Track Palin
who joined on the advice of a wise, old judge. Boys will be boys, right?
I mean, who hasn't cut the brake lines on school buses or gotten hooked
on oxycontin at least once in their life. Not me, that's for sure.
Finally, that Sarah Palin is a real pistol or, should I say, AK-47. It's
amazing how she can bullshit about anything, almost sounding like she
knows what she's talking about, and the press just laps it up like new
honey. She's the new George Bush, even says "new-kew-lar" just
like all us down here in the trailer park. I love it! I hear she has
big plans to decrease violence towards women by defunding all the programs
currently installed. After all, if there's no record of abuse then there's
no abuse, right? No blood, no foul. Brilliant!
She's the leader we are all waiting for once Mr. McCain steps down. Even
though, actuarially speaking, he won't make it though his first term
we are, of course, wishing Big John all the best, right? <wink-wink>