comic every Monday, Wednesday & Friday
Raging Pencils by
Mike "explodo" Stanfill
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performed the most amazing trick of his life yesterday.
He outlived his heart.
And even though it was a trick he could only
we were all privileged enough to watch him do it for 50 years.
I plan a fitting tribute for this great man but I've spent not
enough time this evening revisiting his genius, courtesy of youtube.
So, for now, I leave you with a few fitting last words.
Take it way, George.
"Fascism is capitalism in decay." - Vladimir Ilyich Lenin
George W. Bush had been born poor it's very safe to say he never would
have been a C-student
cheerleader at Yale or ever gone AWOL from a "champagne unit" of
the Texas Air National Guard.
He would never have run three failed oil companies backed by Saudi Arabian
friends of his father.
He would never have been allowed closer to the Texas
Ranger locker rooms than a seat down the first-base line would allow.
He most certainly would never have run for public office, much less
be awarded the job of President by his father's friends on the Supreme
But some things would have certainly been the same. He would have still
be the same booze-guzzling, cocaine-snorting party boy he ever was.
I'm just guessing here but based on what we now know he most likely
would have served a tour or two in Viet Nam as he'd have been too dumb
the draft. If he survived that gauntlet my guess
that's what happens in America when you like drugs more than education
and no one is there to help you.
A little harsh? Not as harsh as if George Bush been born poor AND black. Then
he would have had the additional burden of fighting the prejudices and
intolerance heaped upon him by the likes of those serving in our government
like... George Bush. (If you think otherwise, just deduct the number
of blacks on Bush's staff from the number he allowed to drown in New
is the bigger number?)
John McCain's story is not so much unlike George Bush's except minus
the drug-and-alcohol abuse (as far as I know), as he graduated 894 out
of 899 in his class at the U.S. Naval Academy. This is an unexceptional
family's prominence (his dad was an admiral) or his very wealthy beer-heiress
wife, would also have had no chance at our nation's highest office.
Some people will find comfort in voting for a man who has faithfully
followed the path that others have carefully laid out for him, but I'm
the trails he's forged all by himself.
Quiz: Pick the person on the no-fly list.
Edward Scissorhands, Sally Nitroglycerinteeth, Tommy Salmonella-tomato-supernumerary-nipple,
Sam Adams, Age 5..