Raging Pencils
The tumescent web comic, by Mike Stanfill
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To Jane Goodall, there was no such thing as not primitive enough.

Say Hello To My 10,000 Little Friends!

Does anybody besides me remember the D.C. Madam story that broke wayyyy back in 2007?

It involved a woman named Deborah Palfrey who ran a high-end escort service in Washington D.C. When she finally got caught she defended herself by releasing a list containing the names of over 10,000 clients, one of whom was Republican Senator David Vitter. Even though Sen. Vitter admittted availing himself of Ms. Palfrey's lovelies (he liked to wear diapers... ewwww!) he yet remains in the Senate to this day, faithfully protecting George Bush's ass. The honorable thing for him to have done was to have resigned. See if you can guess why he hasn't resigned. Go on, guess. (Hint: He's a big doo-doo head.)

So far, Randall Tobias of the State Department, a Republican incidentally, is the only person of note to lose their job as a result of this episode. 10,000 men. One conviction. Someone's not doing their job.

There were reportedly other important names on Ms. Palfrey's list but rumor has it that many of the more important names were quashed via back-room legal shenanigans. <cough Cheny cough>

I'm not kidding about Cheney. There are known phone records connecting the madam with his office during time at Halliburton. But, to put it mildly, the White House wields considerable power over the networks and the story, especially regarding our creepy little veep, was unceremoniously trashed.

As the fabulous Wonkette said: "Because even if it’s a fact, which it probably is, there’s no way it would have any impact on Cheney’s 'career. This is a draft-dodging half-human war criminal with a pregnant lesbian daughter who tells senators to fuck themselves and shoots his own friends in the face. Ordering an outcall hooker is positively innocent compared to the well-known things Cheney does every day."

So the question is: How is it that the FBI mananged to catch Elliot Spitzer and no one else in association with the prostitution ring he was dabbling in? How is it that one Democratic governor was more important to the FBI than 10,000 other men? Aren't all 10,001 of these men equally guilty?

It's simple--- Spitzer had to be shut down. Why, you may ask?

Most American's aren't aware of this but Governor Elliott Spitzer, regardless of his taste for forbidden flesh, was spearheading a charge to stem the sub-prime crisis with 50 other states attorney generals in tow. Make no mistake about it, the sub-prime crisis was allowed to happen by the Bush administration so that banks could empty the pockets of the American people, whether directly or indirectly. The government wasn't about to let this gold mine slip through the fingers of their pals in the banking industry, so that left the protection of the populace to the states, and Spitzer.

The story is long but fascinating and it's best summed up by Greg Palast here. The long and short of it is, the public in general finds it difficult to comprehend big numbers like trillions of dollars, but they sure know what a hooker is when they see one.

There are going to some who read this who think it too conspiratorial, but I'm sure one of those people won't be Don Siegelman.


Raging Pencils is a massive conceit courtesy of:

Mike Stanfill, Private Hand
Illustration • Animation • Web Design


Censored cartoon: Scene at pharmacy counter. Anthropologist Jane Goodall hides behind a potted plant, notating in her journal. Druggist says to alarmed female customer: "I don't HAVE to give you birth control pills in I don't want to! Neener-neener-neener!"