Raging Pencils
The gruntled web comic, by Mike Stanfill
New comics every Monday, Wednesday & Friday.

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wesson colt bb-gun
Blackwater Junior high
Show-n-Tell at Blackwater Junior High.

My Aim Is True

We live in a country where more people believe in angels than evolution, so it's clear the last thing we need to do is arm this population of nit-wits against one another.

So here's my solution to the 2nd Amendment... keep it as is. Just redefine what a 'gun' is.

For instance, using nanotechnology it's now possible to develop a weapon the size of a nose hair capable of firing a bullet the diameter of a red blood cell. For all intents and purposes it would be a gun but convenience store owners will never stop giggling.

The second solution is to require all guns to be fired anally, especially since most people who want guns are assholes anyway. Although we'd eventually see some amazing trick shots it'd be easy to escape attack from an armed madman since he'd be forced to chase you with his pants around his ankles. However, people having undergone colostomies will have to be watched closely as they can still shoot from the hip.

My final idea is to require all guns to weigh at least 275 pounds. Not only are they impossible to lift but you would always be able tell which passenger is packing heat in his overnight bag. The time saved at check-in alone would be worth the trouble.


Raging Pencils is a massive conceit courtesy of:

Mike Stanfill, Private Hand
Illustration • Animation • Web Design