May Not Kiss the Bride.
"You do not need the Bible to justify love, but no better tool has been
invented to justify hate." - Richard A. Weatherwax
following is something I found on the Daily
is a reaction to all those religious knuckleheads out
there who have been using the Bible to deny homosexuals
the same civil
heteros anyone else.
Basically, if the Bible is your guide to the perfect
marriage, then you've been doing it wrong.
A. Marriage in the United States shall consist of a
union between one man and one or more women. (Gen 29:17-28;
II Sam 3:2-5)
B. Marriage shall not impede a man's right to take
concubines in addition to his wife or wives. (II Sam
5:13; I Kings 11:3; II Chron 11:21)
C. A marriage shall be considered valid only if the
wife is a virgin. If the wife is not a virgin, she
shall be executed. (Deut 22:13-21)
D. Marriage of a believer and a non-believer shall
be forbidden. (Gen 24:3; Num 25:1-9; Ezra 9:12; Neh
E. Since marriage is for life, neither this Constitution
nor the constitution of any State, nor any state or
federal law, shall be construed to permit divorce.
(Deut 22:19; Mark 10:9)
F. If a married man dies without children, his brother
shall marry the widow. If he refuses to marry his brother's
widow or deliberately does not give her children, he
shall pay a fine of one shoe and be otherwise punished
in a manner to be determined by law. (Gen 38:6-10;
G. In lieu of marriage, if there are no acceptable
men in your town, it is required that you get your
dad drunk and have sex with him (even if he had previously
offered you up as a sex toy to men young and old),
tag-teaming with any sisters you may have. Of course,
this rule applies only if you are female. (Gen 19:31-36)
The following is an actual syndicated comic strip called State of the Union,
created by Carl Moore, a supposedly "fallen" liberal:
I don't have to point this out, but I will anyway:
1) Dave Letterman is not going to be making race jokes. That is
Carl Moore’s job.
(1b) Chris Rock is not the central-freaking-clearing-house for black humor. That’s
(2) As much as Carl “I am not a racist” Moore may think, racial humor
is never “fair game”. In fact, kicking Carl Moore’s racist
butt is not only fair game, it should become our national past-time.
(2.1) Chris Rock would never say “turkey”. No one says “turkey”,
especially Rod Blagojevich.
Even more seriously, write Creator’s Syndicate and complain about this
racist moron. The email address is firstname.lastname@example.org.