Know Who You Are
"The modern conservative is engaged in one man's oldest exercises in moral
philosophy; that is the search for a superior moral justification for selfishness."
Story Short: Thanks. I really mean it. Seriously.
As we wind down towards an inevitable democratic
presidential victory in November, I want
to personally thank all of those who voted
past two elections:
Thanks for leaving the Treasury empty.
Thanks for wrecking the military.
Thanks for conscripting felons.
Thanks for turning the vice-presidential
selection process into an embarrassing freak
Thanks for building and equipping the largest
private army in history.
Thanks for killing 5000 young Americans
and for crippling 30,000 more... for absolutely
Thanks for shredding the Bill of Rights.
Thanks for shredding the Constitution.
Thanks for Homeland Security.
Thanks for wrecking FEMA.
Thanks for turning your back on national
intelligence and allowing the worst attack
on American soil... ever!
Thanks for making America a laughingstock
for the rest of the world.
Thanks for making
the rich even richer and for making all the
rest of us poorer.
Thanks for a lower standard of living
for 95% of Americans.
Thanks for ignoring the health crisis.
Thanks for $4-a-gallon gas.
Thanks for wrecking the dollar.
Thanks for securing two more countries into
the Nuclear Club.
Thanks for proving that is IS important who's
Thanks for proving that Reagan was a no-nothing
Thanks for proving Republican politics is
Thanks for Duke Cunningham, Scooter Libby,
Jeff Gannon, Rush Limbaugh, Bill O'Reilly,
Jack Abramoff, Robert Ney, Tom Delay, James
Tobin, Mark Foley, Karl Rove, Kyle "Dusty" Fogo,
Alberto Gonzelez, Michael Brown, Ben Bernanke,
Henry Paulson, Thomas Noe, Rick Renzi, Sarah
Palin, Bernie Kerik, Bob Allen, Larry Craig,
Donald Thompson, Michael Chertoff, Brent
Wilkes and John McCain.
Lastly, thank you for not voting... ever
It's clear you no longer possess the capacity for rational decision-making
so come this
4th, go shopping. We'll
handle the grown-up stuff from here on.